A Hypothetical Trump Cabinet “Dream Team”

OK, most of these people are dead (or fictional), but it would be interesting to see if we could fill President-elect Donald Trump’s cabinet with folks from history (or storybooks). This would be in keeping with the “spoils system” and “kitchen cabinets” of yore, fulfilling Mr. Trump’s stated goals (which if I’m understanding correctly, is to create as much chaos and uncertainty as possible)

Who can forget old “peace is at hand” Neville Chamberlain (my nominee for Secretary of State), who so deftly negotiated a “peace” with Adolf Hitler in 1938. Look on the bright side, a similar capitulation with Putin may usher in a kick-butt successor like Winston Churchill.

PRESS SECRETARY: SENATOR JOSEPH McCARTHY: Worried that “tail-gunner Joe” is loose with the truth, prone to making stuff up for political gain, vindictive, virulently anti-Semitic and anti-Gay? Well worry no more, as these have pretty much become the requirements for the job! The only thing that might disqualify Joe is that he also hates Soviet Communists, which the incoming administration currently adores.

DEFENSE SECRETARY: JULIUS CAESAR. One ordinarily thinks of the Defense Secretary as defending against our foreign enemies, yet Trump’s stated position is to sic the military on “the enemy within” (No, not the people from the Will Smith movie, the Democrats). I can think of no one more qualified for this position than Julius Caesar, who surprised everyone by “crossing the Rubicon” to lead a military coup of Rome, thereby ending the Roman Republic. Once accomplished, Caesar handed out the spoils of the Roman occupation to his loyal soldiers, the way Trump is…