Dwayne (The Rock) Johnson for President…
…HE MAY IRONICALLY BE THE ONLY ONE TO SAVE THE DEMOCRATS (AND OUR COUNTRY). We all laughed when Action-Hero Arnold Schwarzenegger was elected Governor of California in 2004, but he ended up being surprisingly sensible while projecting the strength lacking in many of today’s politicians. Besides resonating with many of the Country’s demographics, “The Rock” shows similar strength and likability…but does he have the political chops to pull this off?
At first it sounds crazy…Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson for President? What will he do, form a tag-team to body-slam the Russians? Claim an “Hasta la Vista, Baby” on voter suppression? Do the “Bombs Away” on the Chinese? (Oops! Scratch that last one…). Actually, the American Presidency has become the domain of the charismatic front-man (especially the Republicans, who served up Ronald Reagan and now Donald Trump, who pulls many of his moves from the TV Reality Series and WWF playbook). “The Rock” got his start as the chatty, baiting Pro Wrestling foil, which may be the perfect training for today’s political “arena” (which is looking increasingly like a gladiatorial arena). But lest you think this is a satirical piece, hear me out! The Rock actually WOULD be the perfect 2024 Democratic candidate!
Let me start by saying that the 2020 Democratic primaries were a rather sad affair. Though the stated theme was that “no matter what, we had to beat Trump to save Democracy”, no individual candidate seemed to have the strength to live up to the task. In an election where Climate Change, BLM, and “Taxing the Rich” (along with the Trump monster) reigned Supreme, the progressives (Bernie, Warren, Castro) hopelessly pandered, didn’t seem to have any fiscal sense nor specifics on climate change technologies. Harris and Booker seemed to play the African American card too heavily (not always a winning hand in national elections), Blumberg and Steyer, while having a great grasp of fiscal and climate change issues, were too short and too unknown respectively. O’Rourke seemed too young, Buttigieg and Klobuchar too 2nd banana-ish, and Yang too short and wonkish. Williamson seemed to buttress the “green and weird” portion of our party. Biden looked half-way Presidential but rambled and stumbled his way to the nomination, helped in large part by the endorsement of blacks (who control the big swing-state cities) and the fortuitous bowing out/endorsements of Yang, Buttigieg, and Klobuchar (who were surely coerced by the Democratic National Committee). I began thinking “boy, we’re really in trouble here”.
Now let me say at this point, I am a political pragmatist, in addition to being a Democratic moderate. I find the Progressives annoyingly short-sighted and focused on Nationally unpopular issues such as Trans bathrooms, unfettered government-funded abortions, printing money, giving people something-for-nothing, the overnight installation of wind and solar (without economical energy storage), scary don’t-fund-the-police things that even many blacks don’t support, and…um…Socialism. To the latter point, I gave up defending them as “Social Democrats, like in Europe” when I realized they really WERE Socialists. I seem to have been vindicated somewhat now that Capitalism is raising wages on its own (due to worker shortages), and discovered that there’s $$$$ to be made in Climate Change Tech. I’m only half there with Manchin and Sinema as A) At least they don’t want to print Trillions and destabilize our economy but B) Manchin loves coal (bad) and C) Sinema hates family leave, D) they both hate free community college (a great idea) and obliquely are torpedoing Biden (so as to obliquely help Trump). Meanwhile, LGBT, women’s groups, and to some degree minorities are overly whiney and PC, filling up urban enclaves and pissing off white males, who are undereducated and underemployed, but whose wives vote with them for Trump!
Enter Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson (cue “Rocky” theme, cape, sequined trunks). He’s already on record as supporting Biden/Harris in 2020, and supporting BLM, though he generally considers himself an independent. He’s also a trained actor, which qualifies him for at least half the job of being President (who often is simply the front man for many advisors and assistants). Worried about him thinking on his feet in a debate with Trump? Well, the Rock stands 6’-4”, and let’s just say Trump won’t try to tower over him the way he did to poor Hillary. The Rock is articulate, and importantly projects strength, which is sorely needed in a party of weaklings. Am I an advocate of LGBT, women, and minorities? Sure, long-term, provided they behave themselves and are reasonable, but they don’t win National elections (in fact LGBT and liberal women are hurting the Democratic brand in the electoral college). Minorities? Well The Rock is half black and half Samoan, a minority vote-getter if I ever saw one. He would be perfect for getting the blue-collar vote, which Trump stole from us. His kick-ass sensibility (reminiscent of body-builder action-hero Arnold Schwarzenegger) would play extremely well Nationally, a sort of tough-but-gentlemanly style, definitely Obama on muscle-milk and growth hormone.
Look, I remember watching Dwayne’s father Rocky and grandfather Peter Mavia tag-team wrestle in Modesto in 1971, before Dwayne was even born (yes I graduated from UC Berkeley in Engineering but I still liked wrestling). They were a compelling duo, giving the impression to the largely Hispanic and poor white crowd that they were there to “save the day”. I’d imagine this is The Rock’s super power…hell, its in his genes! Besides, he could always pick a boring white guy as running-mate to provide political cred (a buffed up Beto O’Rourke anyone? Tom Hanks? Gavin Newsom?) I say white guy running mate not because I don’t like women, minorities, or LGBT, but BECAUSE A ROCK/WHITE GUY TICKET HAS THE BEST CHANCE OF BEATING TRUMP NATIONALLY, WHICH IS OF EXTREME IMPORTANCE, LEST WE TURN INTO A FACIST DICTATORSHIP!!!! And if that happens, none of the progressive PC, women’s/LGBT movement, free money shit will matter! Progressives have been crowing lately that because of Manchin/Sinema the Dem moderates are blowing it and its their turn. Believe me, I’m from rural white America, and the mood of 40% of the country (the white, Evangelical and QAnon part) is very ugly, and its no time to run a bunch of pansies for President!
Does The Rock have a big ego? Sure, no one in his position wouldn’t and he must manage it well or he wouldn’t be where he is…besides, Presidents need big egos to survive. Is he articulate, noble, fearless? Oh yes, yes, and yes! Would Putin fear him? Well its amazing how size and strength matter, since Putin probably knows that The Rock could pile-drive him in a flat-second. Would The Rock quiet domestic discord and formulate rational foreign policy? Well, he’d be fronting for the Democratic Party so he’d have the best minds we could offer. Will he set a good example and cooperate with women and children? He’s from the “John Cena” school of acting (the gentle giant) so he’d rather have to be, lest he risk losing his franchise.
The Rock for Prez in 2024!
