How do you Teach your Kids to Fight Trumpian Lying, Cheating, and Bullying…
…when Honestly, these Tactics have been Working Well for the Far-Right!
In the old days, it was easier to show your kids that there were consequences for lying, cheating, and bullying. Nowadays, the Republican Party has practically cornered the market on lying, cheating, and bullying, justifying it with claims of “patriotism” and “Christianity”, and let’s face it, they have succeeded on many fronts. Here is a manual on how parents can hope to combat this insidious trend.
There is a thought that has been creeping into many an educated, law-abiding, and virtuous parent the last six years…that is “if Trump is so bad, then why has he been so successful?” Well for many reasons, we are learning that fairy tale logic is not working as of late, and the school-yard bully that was defeated by the likes of Beaver Cleaver, Opie Taylor, and Greg Brady now probably has a cabinet position. You are also horrified that your base realities of science, the New York Times, Neil Young, SNL and late night TV are not shared by about 35% of the American public, who are more tuned into NASCAR, Toby Keith, and Larry the Cable guy. Modern naughty boy logic would have you reimagine your bullying Bluto from childhood cartoons telling Popeye his pot is spinach, then doing Olive Oyl while making an effete and red-eyed Popeye watch. Here is a very hopeful list of possible remedies:
1. In the old days, it was well-known that the bully’s heart was yellow, and that the reason he had all the false-bravado was that he’d probably been beaten by his abusive stepfather. Here’s the remedy:
a) First, you’d try to reason with the bully, and he’d probably spit at you
b) Next, you’d go to your parents, who would call the bully’s parents, who would hang up on them (while telling their kid that he was a real “man” thus emboldening him further)
c) Last, you’d go pound the bully, which was very, very effective and not that hard since even big bullies were not that brave. Unfortunately, liberals have created a world where no schoolyard violence is tolerated, and turning the tables would just get the righteous one in trouble, while the bully would snicker. Modern bullies know this and are hoping to bait you into a fight, so they can sick the authorities on you.
d) The best remedy is…to beat up the bully after school when nobody is looking! That’s right, beating up the bully is still the best remedy, just don’t get caught! And even if you do get caught, you will be a sort of folk-hero among your peers.
2. The remedy to the “no I’m not, but you are” trick. This trick has been used to great effect by Donald Trump and his minions.
a) They launch news media with questionable or no sources, and then call media WITH credible sources “fake news”.
b) When the Proud Boys do something bad, they blame it on Antifa provocateurs.
c) When they are accused of “undermining Democracy” by baselessly questioning the election, they say that anyone that questions the questioning of the vote is “undermining democracy”.
d) Wise people know that you just need to count the “no I’m not but you are-s” and know that whomever says it more times is the villain. People need to be taught that good people don’t say it at all, and anyone that says it even once is a villain. If it happens at Trump or Fox News levels, people need to start pressing libel or slander lawsuits.
3. The remedy to the “catch me if you can” game
a) Long a staple of liars, cheats, and class clowns is the “catch me if you can” game, because it’s a lot of work for the victim to go to the trouble of catching and prosecuting the perpetrator. In addition, the naughty one hopes to garner a kind of “Robin Hood” cred while “taking on the system”.
b) Even when you catch them, they usually say “no I didn’t, Fred did, or Mary made me do it” and you have a mess on your hands, possibly trying to convict without proper evidence, and somehow you know the perp will gain a lot of power over you if he can convince others that you convicted him wrongly.
c) If you are a K-6 teacher, you can simply send the perp and associated accomplices to the Principal’s office, and the ones who cry are probably innocent, while the criminal mastermind is the Sociopath that “won’t break”. Later, in Jr. High, High School, and the workplace, aside from hidden cameras and tape recorders (a good idea, actually), you may have a problem on your hands. Here, Mafioso rules begin to take hold, and you may have to put any squealers in witness protection program in order to send up the bad guy.
4. The remedy to the “blame game”
a) In the old days, people read about Jesus and watched a lot of Frank Capra movies, so they were ready for being set up and blamed. Later, they read comics like “Peanuts” and watched Bob Newhart shows, so that the one getting “Charlie Browned” (being the responsible party that is unfairly blamed) was well-known and the perps were readily identified.
b) Unfortunately, thanks to reality TV like “Survivor” and “The Apprentice”, you are considered “clever” if you set up other people, and eligible for a promotion of some sort. Instead of being a noble Jimmy Stewart or Charlie Brown, the victim is now thought to be a dim-witted fool (actually a person with morals). Even Christianity has been retooled so that people who act like Jesus are considered old-fashioned “bleeding hearts” (read “liberals”) that are a threat to God and Country, and deserving of domination by boastful people that keep America “strong” (Evangelicals).
c) If you have enough time (about 20 years or so), you can wait until the blowhards prove themselves to be fools, get divorces, go to prison, get fired, and have lousy kids, while you slowly prove to have honor, intellect, and a great family. Otherwise, set up your cameras, tape recorders, and document, document, document.
5. The “bragging and fighting is ‘just what men do’” logic
a) After Trump’s “pussy-grabbing” incident, several women came to his rescue saying it was “locker room talk”. Fortunately, a few professional athletes said something like “we don’t want that kind of talk in our locker room”. It is fairly well-known among winning combat and sports organizations that bragging and unnecessarily provoking the adversary (ie baiting, sucker-punching, torturing them) are ineffective. Winning teams appropriately size up the opponent and systematically beat them with controlled rage and a kind of respect after the match.
b) The bully-baiting and bragging go together…it is a sign of weak “game”. “Gentleman” ball wins championships (think Steph Curry, Buster Posey, and Joe Montana here). That said, gentlemanly warriors do hate being lumped in with the bullies by females who don’t know better, so women need better education on identifying both types.
c) The best antidote for this is for great athletes, like LeBron, Barkley, Brady, Jackie Robinson, etc. to call out phony male behavior (especially Trump’s). Note that it is often the black athlete that is in a position to do this, as in our society they are rather forced to use a measured game/controlled rage and have learned it well. If they hadn’t, they never would have been allowed to do sports by some of the racist white bullies that controlled sports before they were let in.
6. The narcissist/braggart’s insistence on “false equivalency”
a) You are playing basketball in 5th grade, and the narcissist/braggart makes a basket while saying “I could beat LeBron James in a game of one-on-one”, and you say “wait…LeBron James it 6'-8” and 240 lbs, plus he’s scored over 30,000 points in the NBA, there is no way you could beat LeBron James” and the n/b shouts back “Prove it! It’s your word against mine!” and you realize that by even replying to this nonsense that you fell for the “false equivalency” trick, and the n/b can now work on weak minds by saying “no one can prove that I can’t beat LeBron”.
b) Of course, you might be able to simply avoid the narcissist/braggart the rest of your life. If not, he might get some addle-brained seconds and follow you around saying “ha ha, there’s the guy that doesn’t believe I can beat LeBron!”
c) Of course, it would be great at this point if you could somehow convince LeBron to visit your school. If not, use the tried and true method in 1d (pounding the bully after school when no one is looking), which honestly works for most of these situations.
7. The liars “keep repeating the lie” until weak minds believe it is the truth
a) Keeping repeating the truth.
b) Provide evidence that the lie is a lie. Make a documentary about the lies.
c) Go after the source (mostly Rupert Murdoch), on the basis of libel.
8. The “Run you down, then pick your pocket” (also called copycatting and/or plagiarism)
In this one, the sociopathic liar/narcissist finds a flaw in your good idea (usually a minor one) and then uses that as a pretext to steal your idea and brand it as his/her own. Examples would be Trump, when he a) badmouthed the Clinton/Obama NAFTA things, modified them slightly, then called them “great deals”, or b) badmouthing Obamacare and then trying to rebrand with a new medical care (a vague one) that promised to cover “pre-existing conditions” (actually, the main premise of Obamacare).
a) Copyright, trademark, or patent your idea, then sue anyone that tries to infringe upon it…
b) If you are a kid in school, make sure you have friends that can back you up, otherwise P the P (Pound the Perp).
9. Gradually twisting your mind with subtle lies to make you start doubting your sanity, or “Gaslighting”
a) First, watch the 1944 movie “Gaslight” with Ingrid Bergman and Joseph Cotten
b) Have a good education and a strong value-system (which allows you to easily spot a liar or con-artist).
c) Have good friends and family as “touchstones”. Ever notice how the con-artist always tries first to set you against your family and friends? They are trying to “groom” weak minds.
d) Get a divorce, restraining order, or move
e) Beat up the gaslighter when no one is looking. Funny how this seems to work as a last resort in all instances. This might cost you $2000 in attorney’s fees, a misdemeanor, and six-months of anger-management, but it might be worth it?
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