Member-only story
Mod’rn Fairy Tales, Most Wondrous Obs’rv’d ‘Twixt Trump Epochs
Wh’re art the Broth’rs Grimm at which hour thee needeth those folk? t seemeth to me yond we couldst useth pristine fairy tales with updat’d m’ralistic messages f’r our youth, not just f’r beddy-bye timeth, but p’rhaps eke f’r the extreme climature of ev’ry political party. H’re art some sample off’rings from the sparkling castles of Centralia, a far-off middle-ag’d kingdom within the mythical lands of Sensibilia
THE PRINCE WHO DID REFUSE COPPERS TO THE ONE-ARM’D KNAVE: Once upon a tempus, there wast a Prince known throughout the land for being present, gen’rous, kind, and brave. Though that gent gave many coppers to widows, paupers, and lepers, he wast known to beest particularly fond of the one-armed guild (a gath’ring of well-meaning souls who is’t labored in the King’s castle, despite the handicap of being present b’rn with one armeth). These donations madeth the one-armed guild stout and popular, so yond oth’rs began also heading the valorous Prince’s leadeth. One day, a particular knave decided yond that he too wanted the popularity and monetary supp’rt of the one-armed guild, so that gent borrowed the executioner’s axe and cut off one armeth. The knave then wenteth to the valorous Prince and demanded payment in coppers. The valorous Prince spoke “Nay evil knave, though joyous to giveth to those who is’t can’t help their condition…
