“Sword and Sandal” Epics…Which are the Campiest?

You can’t beat 50s-60s Biblical/Roman/Christian/Gladiatorial extravaganzas for pure miscasting/anachronistic/history-twisting/cheap propping entertainment.

Moses (Charlton Heston), about to turn his staff into a serpent, much to the chagrin of Rameses (the King, not the condom, played by Yul Brynner) in “The Ten Commandments”

THE TEN COMMANDMENTS (1956)

Of course the all-time King of Sword and Sandal camp is Cecille B. DeMille’s over-the-top “The Ten Commandments” (E.G. Robinson as Dathan “Alright you guys…see, nyah! We’re gonna build a golden calf, see nyah!”) In addition to scary mob-guy Robinson, we have creepy Vincent Price as Pyramid master-builder Baka (yeah right, probably building a little Rue Morgue within Cheops?), Undertaker-like John Carradine as Aaron (trying to hold-off the Baal-worshipping MAGA-mob with his iron-stare), and steely-eyed King of Siam/Westworld Brynner as Rameses II (who never seems to get that burning-hail, rivers of blood, seas parting, might be a problem? Kind of gives a Trump-like “Not my fault...all caused by the Jewish-Democrats” shrug?). The only thing this epic is missing is maybe Peter Lorre (as Jethro’s brother Schlemiel, or maybe a giant rained-toad?)

Young bit-actors in Ten Commandments that later became famous, etc:

Zipporah: She and her goat-herding sisters are all a-titter when a bedraggled Moses shows up (“Eeohhh Moses!”). Their Bedouin father Jethro practically forces Moses upon all seven daughters (who…