What Donald Trump Could Learn from Old Television Westerns

Vern Scott
8 min readJul 20, 2024

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Lately, I’ve been feasting on old Television Westerns, which seem to be an affirmation of a classic American value-system…1) Truth 2) Gentlemanly Behavior 3) Duty/Service to Country 4) Fair Play 5) Justice 6) Tolerance. This all got me to thinking, how would Donald Trump have fared in these old-fashioned and simple (yet effective), sketches of American ethics? Would it do for the Donald what it did for Ronald Reagan? Let’s find out!

Shane was a straight-shooter, while some Westerners might say that Trump “speaks with forked tongue”

TRUTH AND HONESTY (AND GUNS)

Alan Ladd in “Shane” (1953): “I gotta be going on. A man has to be what he is, Joey. Can’t break the mold. I tried it and it didn’t work for me. Joey, there’s no living with a killing. There’s no going back from one. Right or wrong, it’s a brand. A brand sticks. There’s no going back. Now you run on home to your mother, and tell her…tell her everything’s all right and there aren’t any more guns in the valley. Go home to your mother and father and grow up to be strong and straight. Take care of them, both of them.”

Trump interview with Axios, during 2016 Presidential Campaign:

Axios: Do you ever lie?

Trump: I don’t like to lie, no. It’s something that…it’s not something that I would like to be doing

Axios: Is it ever OK to lie?

Trump: I don’t want to answer the question because it’s — it gets to, you know, a different level than what we’re talking about for this interview.

(Note here that Trump is even lying about his lying)

Trump on Guns: “I was proud to be the most pro-gun, pro-Second Amendment President you ever had in the White House. There is not a gun problem, there is a mental health, social, cultural, and spiritual problem” (nbcnews.com,nd)

GENTLEMANLY BEHAVIOR

John McIntyre in “Westward the Women”, (1951): (re: bringing Eastern “brides” to 1850’s California men) “I don’t guarantee their looks, one man’s doll could be another man’s eyesore. But you know me, I don’t give my word lightly. One thing I can promise, they’ll be good women, great women, marriage will be good enough for them, marriage with faith and honesty will be your fortune, make sure you make it a good fortune, if you don’t, you’ll answer to me. Make sure you treat them right, because God help you if you don’t”

Donald Trump: “I did try and fuck her. She was married. I moved on her very heavily. In fact, I took her out furniture shopping. She wanted to get some furniture. I said, ‘I’ll show you where they have some nice furniture.’ I moved on her like a bitch. But I couldn’t get there. And she was married. Then all of a sudden I see her, she’s now got the big phony tits and everything. She’s totally changed her look. Yeah, that’s her. With the gold. I better use some Tic Tacs just in case I start kissing her. You know, I’m automatically attracted to beautiful — I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab ’em by the pussy. You can do anything. (newyorktimes.com, 2016)

John McIntyre led many a western Wagon Train, and I don’t suppose he had time between dust storms, flash floods, and Indian attacks for Trump hanky-panky.

DUTY AND SERVICE TO COUNTRY

From “The Red Badge of Courage” (Stephen Crane, 1894):

“He wished that he too had a wound, a red badge of courage”

“The guns were roaring in his ears, he was oblivious to the elements”

“He had simply not been struck. He imagined the whole regiment saying ‘Where’s Henry Fleming? He didn’t run…why, he was here!’” (bookey.app, nd)

From John Wayne “Stagecoach” (1939):

“A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do” (goodreads.com, nd)

Donald Trump: “I’m cancelling my visit to the Aisne-Marne American Cemetery. It’s raining and the helicopter can’t fly, the Secret Service won’t drive me there. Why should I go to that cemetery anyway? It’s filled with losers. The 1,800 marines who lost their lives at Belleau Wood are ‘suckers’ for getting killed.”

“I’m not going to John McCain’s funeral, he’s not a war hero. I like people who aren’t captured. Why the fuck are they flying flags at half mast in his honor? The guy was a fucking loser.”

“I received a medical deferment for the Vietnam War because of bone spurs, but avoiding STDs during the war was my personal ‘Vietnam’” (Goldberg, 2020)

FAIR PLAY

“The Cowboy Code is simple…be tough, be honest, be fair” (Unknown)

“Cheating a good person is like throwing away a diamond and picking up a rock” (Unknown)

Trump: “The people of Georgia are angry, the people in the country are angry, and there’s nothing wrong with saying, you know, um, that you’ve recalculated. There’s no way I lost Georgia. There’s no way. We won by hundreds of thousands of votes. So look. All I want to do is this. I just want to find 11,780 votes, which is one more than we have. Because we won the state.” (Pengelly, Luscombe, 2021)

As “Ox Bow Incident”’s Gil Carter (Henry Fonda) might say of Trump “Stand up to the lynch mob?…why Hell, he IS the lynch mob!”

JUSTICE (AND RULE OF LAW)

Henry Fonda as Gil Carter, a man about to be wrongly hanged by vigilantes in “Ox Bow Incident” (1943):

“I suppose there are some other good men here, too, only they don’t seem to realize what they’re doing. They’re the ones I feel sorry for. ’Cause it’ll be over for me in a little while, but they’ll have to go on remembering for the rest of their lives. A man just naturally can’t take the law into his own hands and hang people without hurtin’ everybody in the world, ’cause then he’s just not breaking one law but all laws. Law is a lot more than words you put in a book, or judges or lawyers or sheriffs you hire to carry it out. It’s everything people ever have found out about justice and what’s right and wrong. It’s the very conscience of humanity. There can’t be any such thing as civilization unless people have a conscience, because if people touch God anywhere, where is it except through their conscience? And what is anybody’s conscience except a little piece of the conscience of all men that ever lived?” (IMDB.com, nd)

Trump: The Vice President deserves to hear chants of “Hang Mike Pence”, he let down his Country. I don’t think the rioters are doing anything wrong, and I’m not going to stop them. (Breuninger,2022)

TOLERANCE

Opera singer Thomas Bowers (William Marshall) is harassed by some narrow-minded Virginia City people, even though previously entertaining Queen Victoria. Hoss Cartwright (Dan Blocker) intervenes on the side of justice and fairness. Donald Trump might’ve said “there are good people on both sides”.

(Bonanza Thomas Bowers Episode, in which Virginia City struggles with an invitation to an 1880s African American Opera Star, starting with a society matron wanting to cancel the concert after learning Bowers is Black)

Mr. Walker, Newspaper Editor: You still haven’t told me why you want to cancel the concert.

Mrs Gable, head of Virginia City Culture Society: Well isn’t that rather obvious? How am I going to explain to the ladies of the Virginia City Culture Society…that I hadn’t known Thomas Bowers was a…was a…

Mr. Walker: A Negro?

Mrs Gable: Well that’s not exactly what I meant.

Mr. Walker: Isn’t it Mrs Gable? What exactly did you mean?

Mrs Gable: Oh Mr Walker, this is so embarrassing.

Mr. Walker: Is it? It shouldn’t be, but if you cancel the concert it will be…for all of us.

Mrs Gable: What do you mean?

Mr. Walker: Well Mrs. Gable, as a self-appointed leader of cultural activities in Virginia City, you should have known all about Thomas Bowers. Quite famous you know, has given concerts all over Europe. It seems to me that the color of his skin didn’t bother Queen Victoria, it shouldn’t bother the fair ladies of Virginia City.

Mrs Gable: Queen Victoria? Why Mr. Walker, are you trying to tell me that Thomas Bowers sang for the Queen?

Mr. Walker: Why not? He’s considered to have one of the greatest voices in America, I understand the Queen was very pleased.

Mrs Gable: Thank you Mr. Walker…you’re a very persuasive man!

(Later, in Sam’s Restaurant…)

Thomas Bowers, Opera Singer: I’d like some ham and eggs please.

Sam Kylie, Restaurant Owner: That’s too bad, we’re all out of food.

Bowers: When then perhaps I may have a glass of water.

Sam: We’re all out of water too.

(Hoss overhears and gives Bowers his glass of water, violence almost ensues, which Hoss contains)

(Still later, as Bowers sits out his scheduled performance)

Bowers: I don’t intend to do any singing here

Hoss Cartwright: A sensitive man such as yourself surely realizes that the Sam Kylies of the world must find someone they can belittle so as to somehow make themselves more important.

Bowers: I’m not worried about the Sam Kylies. I made up my mind a long time ago to have nothing to do with them.

Hoss: What about the other folks…the hall over there is packed plum full of folks who came to hear you sing.

Bowers: Don’t fool yourself, They came to see a freak, a Black Man who sings Italian Opera, that’s better than a dancing bear. Sorry to let you down Hoss.

Hoss: It’s hard to explain but…you ain’t acting different from Mrs. Gable. I know you’re angry, and you got reason to be. Suppose the whole town’s against you? Are you making anything better by runnin’ out? I had you figured for a braver man. There’s some folks always gonna be on your side, some never. But what about all the other folks that haven’t made up their minds? And that hall over there is packed full of them…are you runnin’ out on them too? (Bowers returns to the hall and does stirring renditions of Italian Opera, thereby winning over the Virginia City crowd)(youtube.com, nd)

Donald Trump: “Obama doesn’t have a birth certificate, or if he does, there’s something on that certificate that is very bad for him. Now, somebody told me — and I have no idea if this is bad for him or not, but perhaps it would be — that where it says ‘religion,’ it might have ‘Muslim.’ And if you’re a Muslim, you don’t change your religion, by the way…” (Krieg,2016)

”The Mexicans, they are not our friends, believe me. They are bringing drugs, they’re bringing crime, they’re rapists” (Dunn, 2020),

“There were very fine people on both sides of the White Nationalist Rally in Charlottesville.”

“Proud boys…stand back and stand by” (Reilly,2016)

Conclusion:

Gulp. I guess Trump fails the Western test, less Ben Cartwright and more Wile-E-Coyote. He may have to hope America has moved on to the WWF values of duplicity, boasting, betrayal, and infidelity.

OTHER VERN SCOTT ARTICLES THAT TORTURE DONALD TRUMP!

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Vern Scott
Vern Scott

Written by Vern Scott

Scott lives in the SF Bay Area and writes confidently about Engineering, History, Politics, and Health

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